Happy New Year!

Looking back, 2011 was not what I had anticipated. Personally, though it at times felt like a hiatus or abandonment of my creative self, it was a gestation period. The events of the year persistently reminded me to slow down and stop - to not do, but be. I refused to listen for most of it and thus lived through many cycles of frustration. The result of these lessons is a greater closeness to my intuition - to feel and allow in presence and in love...and let expectations be what they are: passing thoughts in time.

2011 was a trying, but also fun year.  I went to more concerts than I had in any other year past; I frequented the Toadstool after hours, caught several shows in Western and Central Massachusetts, and flew out for Music Fest North West. I fulfilled my adolescent dream of seeing Soundgarden perform, attended the first show of Opeth's Heritage tour, saw William Fitzsimmons play in a living room, and lay in bliss under the stars listening to Fleet Foxes play at Mountain Park.  I set up my old Technics turntable and went mad buying vinyl. I hunted down strange, limited, and/or local pressings. I even woke up early to drive to Vermont on Record Store Day. During my trip to Oregon I reunited with the North Western forest energy and a city rich with music and movement.

I wanted to sell my house, but instead it has turned into more of a home. I have a dining room and a library nook; the deck is mended and reattached, and the yard is not completely disheveled. A couple of days ago I dismantled, cleaned, rearranged, and reconnected my home recording studio. This was a practical as well as symbolic effort. I've let go of a troublesome part of myself that had not served me well, save but for teaching me the lesson that I do not need for it. The studio is the haven in my home, and is now ready for my creativity when any moment brings it.

I have no idea what 2012 will be for me. My goals have become less specific, conceptual, and tangible. With less rigidity and judgment I will be free to allow more accomplishment, growth, and fulfillment of my needs. While my vision of the new year may be blurry and ever-shifting, I can see well my path with increased clarity and I know that it is the one on which I am meant to be. It will wholly serve me, not merely my mind or ego. It is less what and when, and more how and why. On new years eve, Rosie and I lay outside on the deck looking up at the sky - the deep blue of midnight permeated by the light of thousands of stars...the cosmic brothers and sisters to our sun, caught in a great spiral - our infinite substance swirling, rotating, and breathing alive the matter and condition of all that is.

Timbreleaf is not a well-read blog, but it has been an outlet for my expression during a time when I've felt creatively stifled. Thank you so much to anyone and everyone who reads or has read Timbreleaf, subscriber or no. While I do not write intending an audience it means a lot to know that there is one. Happy new year to each and all...may 2012 be a truly wonderful experience.  I am greatly looking forward to the new: music, places, people, experiences. Be well ~ ~   ~